Parental anger and the path to inner peace
Anger is a scary emotion and one that can spiral out of control if we let it. I find it a difficult emotion to deal with and since becoming a parent, I find I’m angry or irritated a lot of the time as this previous post shows. I don’t want to be though and finding my inner peace so I can be a less scary mummy is my mission.
Being mindful and doing mindful meditations over the past 7-months has really helped. Along the way I’ve come across tons of information about being calm, diffusing anger and positive parenting, all of which is keeping me on track and helping me to tame my parental anger.
I’m using any technique I can get my hands on, from deep breathing and having positive thoughts, to creating a calm space at home and using colouring-in to chill-out.
Taking little actions on a daily basis has helped me be more accepting too. I accept that my house will look like a tornado has ripped through it on a daily basis, that I can’t possibly hold back the tidal wave of toys all the time and that my boys will be loud when I want them to be quiet.
Still, there are plenty more tips that I’m trying to diffuse that parental rage. Here are 5 gems I’d love to share with you, from tips to use in the heat of the moment, to preventing anger from rearing its ugly head.
Breathe in slowly for a count of 3, hold your breath for a count of 3, then release the breath slowly, relaxing your body as you go. I’ve been doing this a lot and finding it very useful. Thinking about numbers as I breathe seems to refocus my thoughts. Thanks to Thrive’s Be Stress Free App for this exercise.
3-step breathing space
This mindful technique got me through a trying half-term holiday. Essentially it’s a mini-meditation. If you’ve never meditated don’t worry, you won’t need to sit in a pretzel shape and start omming. Use it a few times and you’ll find it so much easier to channel your calm in moments of need.
3-2-1 Calm down
Alissa at Creative with Kids has some great ideas about dealing with parent stress and anger. She notes this calm down technique on her blog. Stop, note 3 things you can see, 3 things you can hear, 3 things you feel, then do the same with 2, then 1 to detach yourself from the irritating situation.
Nip anger in the bud before it begins
Also, Alissa talks about the nuts and bolts of parent rage too, with some fantastic parent survival tips to use and diffuse that anger before it bubbles up.
Get some down-time
Getting enough down-time away from the kids is vital. When you feel nourished, you’ll be less likely to lose your temper. Try these nourishing activities to prevent running on empty.
Bonus tip – create a calm space. Having a physical place to go and chill-out is brilliant. Using this space regularly for finding your calm will make it easier in future as you’ll automatically associate this place as a calming oasis. A lovely self-fulfilling circle of positivity!
I’d love to hear if these tips have helped you – let me know below!